Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
