dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
