Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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