yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
