your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
