google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
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