We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
