She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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