Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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