I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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