i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
