I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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