You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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