i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
There's always time for handjobs
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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