well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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