Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
