a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
