Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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