He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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