I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize