Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize