I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize