It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
