I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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