carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
