Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
