he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
