Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
