Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
