Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
