So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
