Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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