i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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