he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
