if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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