Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
