is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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