Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
It's just like the Real World with babies
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
