I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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