At least make sure they are 18
Why
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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