who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
