I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We left the knife in your bed.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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