i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
