you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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