thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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