you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
