is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
