also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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