last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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