theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She told me I should be a condom model.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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