This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
