I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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