ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You were trust falling into bushes
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
