Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
