this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
