It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
