I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
