I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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