So drunk its hurt
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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